i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
