We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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