The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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