Rock
Scissors
Fuck
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
