moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
