i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
