Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
