it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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