Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm really into asian looking animals
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
