you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
