I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
