North Korea, Best Korea!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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