You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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