My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
