I can tuck mytits in my pants
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
