I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
