So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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