I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
