Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
