how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
