Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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