I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
