he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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