I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
