i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize