i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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