Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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