i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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