I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
