i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
