I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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