Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
