who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
