Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
