Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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