forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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