you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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