You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize