My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
