chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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