so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize