dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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