apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
