Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
