do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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