where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
