she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
