I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
