someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
