Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
