He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
