I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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