I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize