Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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