carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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