At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
