Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize