I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
