Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
