I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
