i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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