I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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