Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
