don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
