He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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