Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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