HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
