There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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