I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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