I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it glows. i had to have it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
