Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
